Cell Phones and Tweens

Source: Tween Parent Staff

(33 ratings)

It seems that everywhere we turn, as technology proliferates, there are newer, better, faster, cheaper gadgets that we, as a society, "need." Just think, a plasma television (which of course is no longer state of the art technology) that cost nearly $10,000 eight years ago, would probably sell for less than $800 today. Cell phones are a great example of a device that even a hand full of years ago, we wouldn't have thought of providing to our tweens. Now, due to societal acceptance and phone service providers, the age that a child gets his/her first cell phone is dropping steadily. As of January, 2009, in a TweenParent.com poll, parents stated that on average a child should not be given a cell phone until they are 11 years old. Odds are, that age would be lower if parents were asked today, less than a year later!

The use of cell phones by pre-teens clearly offers some very positive benefits in certain circumstances. The most obvious is the ability for the parent and tween to be able to communicate for logistical purposes; as plans change throughout the day, an agreed upon time may change and a quick call/text to each other can make a change easy to facilitate. Also, there's a certain amount of relief for both the parent and child to know that they can reach out in an emergency; key phone numbers can be preprogrammed and accessible. Also, a quick call home or to your tween just to touch base can offer an added level of comfort for everyone involved.

So, rather than fight the tide of change, for parents who have crossed the bridge to provide their tween with a phone, there are several tips (with input by internetsafety.com) that can help parents as they create boundaries around cell phone usage:

Etiquette -- don't overlook phone basics, like manners, personal interaction and good practices regarding answering the phone and sharing information.
Usage - set boundaries regarding on/off hours and weekday/weekend time limits. Help your tween manage the amount of time spent (including the way to monitor minutes used each month, so overcharges can be avoided).
"No Phone" Boundaries -- ensure that your tween leaves the phone in a public place at night (perhaps in/near a charging area) to avoid middle of the night activity, which can clearly impact much-needed rest. Determine your level of comfort with your tween's phone use while in family settings, etc.
Internet Connections -- as phones become more and more sophisticated, they're becoming like mini-computers. Many are now enabled with the ability to connect to the internet. Having internet access on a broad and virtually unmanaged tool like a cell phone carries a whole host of other issues. Explore internet safety rules, in general, that you might apply to a phone that has internet capability.
Sexting -- as out of the range of possibility as it may seem, like sexual education, talks should start younger than you'd think. Since virtually every phone has a camera, the fun of sending images to friends can be very enticing. It's important to reinforce that once an image is in "cyberspace," it can take on a life of it's own. And, the more intriguing (or sexually suggestive) it is, the more it will spread.
Bullying -- like email, texting can have the feel of a degree of anonymity. Yes, the recipient knows who it's coming from, but written words may not feel as harsh to the sender as spoken words. On top of that, sexually suggestive texts can be too exciting for a pre-teen not to share with others.
Health -- If you have any concern about health (radiation) issues regarding cell phone use, encourage text messaging as a way of communication, rather than phone calling.

InternetSafety.com^TM has been a leading provider of web filtering solutions for consumers and businesses since 1999. The company's products are used by customers in more than 150 countries. For more information, visit www.internetsafety.com.