Eight Tips for Raising a Tween in a Tech World

Source: Gila Brown, M.A.

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The rise of gadgetry in today's society has many parents wondering "What is too much screen time?" Parents find that, once their pre-teens are 'plugged-in' to almost any electronic device, they are very much 'tuned-out' to parents, family needs and chores. While texting or wearing earphones, tweens can be unresponsive to the rest of the world. Not only does this make communication frustrating, but it also leaves parents to worry about how their child is actually using their screen time.

Set boundaries about where and when electronics are to be used. Involve your tweens when making house rules about where and when electronics will be used. If they have some ownership over the rules, they are more likely to adhere to them.
Model appropriate usage. If you don't want your pre-teen to be texting at the dinner table, make sure that you are not on your cell phone during that time. Honor the boundaries that you've set as well as the time you spend with your family.
Discuss the differences between online communication and face-to-face interactions. It is important that kids understand the importance of developing deep relationships with others and that that cannot happen on via a screen and a keyboard. We can help tweens to understand this through discussions that identify the differences between the two forms of communication.
Encourage actual face-to-face socialization. In many ways, texting, e-mailing and IM-ing are easier forms of communication than actual face-to-face interactions. Encourage your pre-teens to be involved in social activities such as sports, sleepovers and other opportunities to engage with peers.
Discuss the implications of providing personal information online. Tweens do not have the capacity to comprehend the vastness of the Internet. It is crucial that we help kids understand the implications and potential consequences of providing personal information to the world.
Discuss the permanency of information posted on the Internet. Pre-teens do not have the capacity to comprehend permanency. We need to help kids understand that photos and comments that are posted online cannot be taken back. Encourage them to show restraint when posting potentially hurtful comments or personal photos.
Openly monitor online activity. While monitoring your tween's activity is not a bad idea, the implication is that you do not trust them. Make sure that they understand that, while you do trust them, you do not necessarily trust everyone else online. If you are going to monitor their accounts, make sure that they are aware that you are doing so. Without this honesty, you will lose their trust and respect when they do find out that you've been snooping.
Trust your kids. Ultimately, we cannot control our children's every move. We need to learn to trust that we've raised them to have and use good judgment. The more we are able to show that we trust them, the more they will want to prove that they deserve it.

Gila Brown, M.A. is a Child Development Expert and Parent Coach, with over 10 years of teaching experience. She specializes in parenting school-age children with grace, using principles of attachment parenting, positive discipline and effective communication. Visit www.GilaBrown.com to sign up for a free newsletter.