Help With The Holiday Chaos!
Source: Tween Parent Staff
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We all know that the holidays, with or without our family nearby, can be a very challenging time. Even if you’ve had a great year with no significant setbacks, the marking of time often leads to moments of reflection (both good and bad). When you pile on the tasks that crop up around the holidays (presents to buy and wrap; cookies to bake; cards to send; office parties; school recitals; neighborhood parties; and, of course, preteens at home!), who wouldn’t begin to feel a little overwhelmed? In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, one in five Americans are worried that holiday stress could affect their physical health. Yipes. The good news…there are ways to address the stress! We’ve come up with a short list of ideas to help make the holidays a little simpler.
Gift Giving
Even at this late date, you can shop online for last minute gifts; especially this year, stores are offering plenty of last minute bargains, with outrageously fast shipping. Hand-in-hand with this suggestion is the question…do you really need to buy more gifts? Hmmm, something to think about. Some other gift ideas that might help with the gift-giving plan…
• To simplify, come up with a good idea and stick with it…buy the same gift for as many people as possible on your list (especially those who won’t cross paths)!
• Invite a small group for a pizza and movie night as part of a group gift.
• Offer service gifts (especially a helping hand to more “mature” relatives) and I.O.U.s for special treats (the lesson of delayed gratification could be great for your tween!).
• Books and Books-on-Tape are great gifts; especially if you want to promote a break from electronics.
• Make a donation (or bring supplies) to a local animal shelter or a favorite charity as a family or in someone’s name.
• Offer to research and guide a family walk/hike, with snacks prepared by (not you!).
• Never under-estimate the value of artwork created by your tween…grandparents love the special thought, no matter what age.
Bring the Gifts Back to Grateful
While no one wants to deny their children the fun of ripping wrapping paper (say that fast!) and the delight of finding something they were wishing for, make sure to take some time to reflect on reasons for thankfulness. Perhaps after all the gift opening is wrapping up, making a chain of hands, go around the room and have each person share something they’re thankful about.
Don’t Overdo It
Think through what you really want to do, not what you feel obligated to do. Sure, there might be some family and work events when you need to be a team-player (you know what that means!). But, if you’re feeling overscheduled, do some serious soul-searching and decide what you can pass on. Get together with family and friends (without a meal!)
Since the important thing is to connect with your loved ones, instead of taking on the complete burden of creating a festive holiday gathering (that includes invitations, food shopping, meal preparation, etc.), consider a get-together that is much less formal. Perhaps a potluck meal or meeting at a local restaurant, rather than laboring in the kitchen.
Buy “homemade” baked items from a bakery and invite people over for “Dominos and Dessert.” A bonus -- playing a fun game can bridge multiple generations. Be sure to pick a game that doesn’t require a lot of concentration to participate!
Keep it Simple
Sure, we’d all like to throw the perfect party or host the perfect gathering at our home. When you find yourself planning a menu, think of shortcuts…especially for the items that aren’t as meaningful (hint: take a visit to Sam’s Club or Trader Joe’s for some hard-to-beat hors d’oevres!). Ask your tween and other family members for some help.
Do Something Really Nice For Yourself
Remember the directions when you get on a plane…”in case of an emergency, secure your oxygen mask before helping your child or companion”? It’s fair to say that it also makes sense when it comes to the holidays. Take care of yourself…you need to recharge too. After all, a worn out parent is most likely a grumpy parent too! Engage in activities that you find relaxing or just plain joyful.
Manage Your Expectations
One of the worst things we can do is create unrealistic expectations about the holiday season that no family can live up to.. Think about what makes you the happiest and focus any need for perfection on that. For example, if you like making the table look like it could be photographed for a magazine, then order take-out from your favorite butcher shop! Chances are that if you try to do it all, it will take you away from the pleasures of spending time with the people you've invited.
Most of all, this year in particular (with the economic downturn), it’s important to find ways to be hopeful and get to the core of what the holiday season means to you.
Happy Holidays!
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