Speaking With Your Preteen About Hygiene

Source: Tween Parent Staff

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As we all know, body changes are a hallmark of the tween years (girls' body changes generally occur between 9-12 years old and boys between 11-14 years old). It can often be challenging for preteens to deal with the reality of these changes while maintaining a healthy body image. It's important that kids are not only prepared for what the changes will be, but that they understand the implications as it relates to the care of their bodies. It's a wonderful time to "coach" them on the positive aspects of maturing while promoting an increased level of responsibility that tweens often long for.

Without our help, kids will figure out that good hygiene is a core expectation among their tween peer set. However, they may not know where to begin. And, that's where you can help; there's nothing wrong with sharing your wisdom and life experience to get your preteen on the right track in developing solid cleanliness habits!

Think Through Your Cleanliness Expectations

Is it important to you to have your tween take daily baths/showers? Do you prefer a morning or evening ritual? How many times a week should hair be washed? Do you want your child to floss daily? What about shaving and nail grooming? There are lots of choices to make!  To get started, below is a listing of general hygiene habits and suggestions as you prepare to have a conversation with your tween.

1. Good Old Handwashing. Obvious, but worth bringing up again! To avoid the spreading of germs, reinforce the value of washing hands. Make sure your child knows to scrub with warm soapy water for at least 15 seconds.

2. Facial Cleansing. Create and explain a basic skin care regime. Demonstrate how to wash and moisturize (if necessary). Choose gentle cleansers and other products (like toner, light moisturizer, sunscreen, etc.) specifically made for sensitive skin, or, ideally, preteens. Purchase an anti-pimple ointment for young skin and have it on hand for break-outs. You can also mention that a healthy diet, sleep and exercise contribute to healthy skin.

3. Bathing. Make sure to have all the products and tools on hand! Items might include: body wash, soap, washcloth, bathrobe, slippers, fun towels and any other accoutrements that will reinforce bathing as a pleasant experience.

4. Hair Cleansing. There are so many options related to hair care that it can be overwhelming. Think about having shampoo, conditioner and even de-tangler available.

5. Toothbrushing, Flossing and Mouthwash. Get your dentist involved. Sometimes hearing realities from someone other than a parent is more powerful. Talk about the avoidance of cavities, gum disease and the potential for bad breath as outcomes of good dental hygiene.

6. Foot Hygiene. If foot odor is an issue, put odor absorbing insoles or charcoal insoles into shoes, or sprinkle baby powder, corn starch or baking soda inside socks to help absorb moisture. Wearing clean, dry cotton socks is also important to help manage the potential for foot odor.

7. Deodorant/Antiperspirant. There are many options, from the big brands at the drugstore or supermarket to the natural alternatives offered in heath stores. There's also a choice of spray, solid roll-on, and liquid roll-on. Discuss the difference between deodorant, which controls bacteria while adding fragrance, and antiperspirant, which is supposed to stop or limit sweating.

8. Shaving. While less important to boys, middle school is when many girls want to start shaving. Look for a kid-friendly razor and shaving cream. Reinforce that it takes practice to get it right! Offer suggestions for tough spots like ankles, shins, knees, and underarms. Talk though logistics, like rinsing the razor and keeping it clean and dry.

9. Nail Grooming. Have your tween clip his/her nails regularly. Try to address the issue of nail-biting by discussing that finger-to-mouth contact can spread germs and create infections. For a girl, the motivation of a visit to a nail salon can be a nice option.

10. For girls, the onset of Menstruation involves additional hygiene considerations including which products to use, how often to change them, and how to chart her cycle.

Organize Your Approach

Think about your child's disposition. Is your daughter interested in discussions that focus on growing up or does she get embarrassed? Would your son respond better to a direct conversation or would he prefer reading a book together? Then think through your best approach. Try emphasizing the positive, "I know you're ready and I know you're going to do a great job." Or, if you don't feel your tween will respond to the "challenge," you might consider including hygiene habits as a part of an overall routine and expectations discussion.

Get a Commitment and Establish a Routine

After having a conversation with your child, discuss how to follow through together. Perhaps enough has been said and you'll begin to see the new routine established as a part of his/her daily tasks. Or, if you find that you need a gentle reminder, create a chart to get the ball rolling. As an example, the Palo Alto Medical Foundation created a hygiene chart to organize commitments. You can use their chart as a starting point for creating your own.

Make it Fun

Make hygiene fun by taking your tween shopping, allowing him/her to pick out their own products. A child with some new body wash, hair products or a fancy toothbrush will be even more likely to practice good hygiene. You can even buy a personal bath caddy, so that products can be kept separately.

Give Your Tween Space

If your tween associates showering or bathing with relaxing, he's less likely to protest when it comes time to clean up. Tween's need privacy and can be very self-conscious about their changing bodies. Make sure your tween has the privacy he needs (from you and other members of your household) in order to feel comfortable bathing.

Offer Positive Feedback

Don't forget to compliment your tween for taking the time and making the effort to do something good for their body!

Books to consider related to preteen hygiene:

The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library)

The Boy's Body Guide: A Health and Hygiene Book for Boys 8 and Older

Share your thoughts about preteen hygiene:
Health section of TweenParent Community