Helping Your Tween Manage Homesickness at Sleep Away Camp

Source: Kaitlyn Marmarou

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Only one thing can ruin the peace and quiet granted from sending your tween to sleep-away camp: homesickness. Getting a letter from your preteen describing those awful feelings of loneliness, sadness or anxiety is heart wrenching and can leave a parent feeling racked with guilt.  Add hearing about physical symptoms of headaches and nausea and you may be ready to jump in your car and bring your child home.  Before making an impulsive decision, there is a lot you can do both to prepare your child to get the most out of camp and to manage homesickness while they are away. 

Talk About It

Ann Young, a director at Camp Hilltop in Hancock, NY, recommends talking to your preteen about all aspects of what to expect while they are at camp, acknowledging any feelings of apprehension that your child may have about leaving home, but warns that kids are very good at reading their parents emotions and may become anxious if they notice their parents being overly concerned. “Be careful that your separation anxiety does not become your child’s problem,” Young cautions.  

Other ideas to help your preteen prepare for camp are:

• Beginning a countdown and a checklist of things to do to get ready for camp.
• Discuss the camp’s policies regarding communication between camper and parents, so it is not a surprise.
• Visit the camp to become familiar with the cabin and the location of the activities.
• Talk about all the exciting things your child will do and learn.
• Let your child know what you will be doing while they are away, but don’t make your plans sound too interesting.
• Make a plan to send letters and care packages.
• Pack a sentimental object for your preteen to take with them.
• Do not promise your child they can leave early if they become homesick.  The feelings are real, but with support and a caring environment at camp, kids are able to overcome homesickness quickly and are proud of their newfound independence.

Handling Homesickness

Despite your best efforts, chances are your child may experience some homesickness.  A study of 329 boys between the ages of 8 and 16 at resident camp by psychologist Dr. Christopher Thurber found that 83 percent of the boys reported feeling homesick at least once and 7 percent reported feeling severely homesick. 

If your child does experience homesickness while at camp, Young recommends:

• Acknowledging the homesickness, but reaffirming to your child that they can work through it and will have a great time.
• Keep positive, open communication with the staff and directors of the camp.  They will offer advice and by working together as a team the outcome most likely will be positive.
• Keep writing to your child and continue talking about events at home, but be sure not to mention what your child is “missing”.
• Know that your child will write letters, when homesick, that will exaggerate the experience and make you feel guilty.  Remember that letters take several days to reach you, often allowing time for the feelings of homesickness to subside.  So, avoid the temptation to jump in the car and pick your child up.
• Know that when dealing with homesickness there are stages.  In the beginning the child needs support and then they need firmness.  The words, “you’re staying at camp” are what your child is waiting to hear and is a vote of confidence that you know that your child can succeed.  Once this occurs kids focus on the reasons why they wanted to go to camp in the first place.
• Write about activities that excited your child the most about camp and how proud you are of their self-reliance.

When choosing a camp, it is important for parents to know that they can rely on the counselors and directors to take good care of their child.  Young recommends asking your camp about how they handle homesickness and the amount of communication they will have with you.  Young says, “You should expect open communication with the camp staff regularly on and through the homesickness passing.  If you work as a team your child will greatly benefit from the entire camp experience and have a sense of accomplishment.”

This article is written by Kaitlyn Marmarou.