Is Your Tween A Gossip Girl?

Source: Terri MacLeod

(30 ratings)

Who doesn't love a juicy morsel of gossip? I am guilty of scanning the tabloids for some celebrity dish or going out to dinner with my girlfriends and sharing a little bit of "did you hear what happened to so and so." ‘Fess up don't we all love to gab? I think chatting is simply part of a woman's DNA.

But, what I won't tolerate is nasty gossip - verbal missiles aimed to bring another person down. As a parent, I think it's crucial to get my talkative tween to know words can hurt! We all know the middle school years are tough and girls especially can be downright mean. ...A favorite battle tactic is spreading rumors whether it's an exaggeration or a bold-faced lie! ...Now with text messages, facebook, and cell phones; a gossip's reach extends beyond the classroom and can easily target her victim 24-7.

It's important to speak frank with your daughter about gossip; especially in today's celebrity obsessed culture. Make sure she understands talking trash about someone else isn't in sync with your family values. Or, if she's target, let her know not to be ashamed, gossip often stems from jealousy or another girl's insecurity. Here are a few points to share to get your daughter living in a gossip-free zone.

#1 Words are powerful.

Keep your thoughts positive. The next time a friend starts to talk negatively about someone else, just smile. You don't have to add your two cents.

#2 Gossips are often insecure.

They put down others to reinforce their own social status. Make yourself feel better by avoiding talking trash.

# 3 Be grateful for your friends.

Friendship is a gift. Don't treat it poorly by spreading rumors.

#4 Gossip is often targeted at someone we are envious of.

Instead of bringing them down with negative words, be inspired by their achievements or success.

#5 Be kind to the person being talked down.

Building up other people's confidence will also make yours stronger.

#6 Remember:

The less you gossip, the less people will gossip about you.

The old adage is ‘stick and stones can break your bones, but names will never hurt you,' I strongly disagree. Cruel words can and do destroy reputations, make school uncomfortable, and certainly affect self-esteem. Most experts suggest parents don't get overly involved in peer conflicts, as kids do need to develop their own coping skills. However, I DO think parents to be sensitive to the hurt (not matter how minor) caused when your child's friends behave poorly. Parents need to have an open ear and help give their child the tools to survive the rumor thrill. But, if your tween ever feels threatened, anxious, or is unable to function as their normally fun self, don't be afraid to seek help from a counselor or your school's principal.

This article is written by Terri MacLeod.

Terri MacLeod is a mom, TV producer, and writer. She is senior producer at NBC's Access Hollywood. Terri is also the author of the recently released girl power guide, 113 Things To Do By 13, which is an A to Z book on everything tween, including tips on handling gossip.