Use our handy A to Z guide of Tween Terminology to get to grips with a whole new parenting lingo!

We’re adding to this list as we go, and for the latest trends that are emerging in the ’20s, so bear with us as we get to the bottom of the magical and often confusing world of tween talk!

AF – as f^ck – usually added to the end of a sentence

Aura – the vibe or energy someone gives off

Aura points – a measure of coolness, mythical points ‘earned’ for doing something cool or on point (or lost for doing something bad/stupid)

Bae – “before anyone else” babe, or baby – an endearing term for a romantic partner or close friend

Basic – boring or unoriginal, someone whose conformist or common

Brain Rot – consuming too much online content

Bruh – same as Bro

Bussin – very good (usually food)

Cap/Cappin – fake or lying; ‘no cap’ is being truthful

Clap Back – a comeback delivered with attitude

Crashy – describe someone considered crazy and trashy

Cray – crazy

Cringe – someone displaying embarrassing behavior (probably you!)

Delulu – delusional, having unrealistic expectations

Dope – cool or awesome (not the drug..)

Drip – someone with clothing or fashion sense

Emo – emotional person

Era – phase someone’s in

Extra – unnecessarily dramatic

Fam – group of close friends

Fire – hot, trendy, or amazing

Flex/Flexing – to show off/brag

FOMO – fear of missing out

FYP – For Your Page (TikTok)

Ghost – when someone suddenly cuts off all communication

GOAT – greatest of all time

GTG – got to go

Gucci – something good or cool

GYAT (pronounced ge-yaht) – refers to a voluptuous bottom

Hangry – a combination of hungry and angry

ICYMI – In case you missed it

IKR – I know, right?

I’m dead – laughing so hard you’re dying of laughter

iPad Kid – someone who overuses technology, hence has a short/distracted attention span

IRL – In real life

It’s Lit – cool/ awesome

IYKYK – If you know, you know

Jelly – Jealous

L – loss or lose (or a loser act – often directed at something you have done!)

Left on read – when you can tell a message has been seen but not responded to

Lit – something that’s amazing, cool, or exciting

LMAO – Laughing my arse off

Mewing – the act of making the jawline look good, usually boys

NGL – not gonna lie

No Cap – totally true, no lie, for real

Noob/Newb – Newbie, a person who is new at something or doesn’t know what they’re doing, often used in gaming

NP – No problem

Ok, Boomer – disparaging response; you are saying something outdated

On Fleek – someone who is fashionable, on point

OMG – oh my gosh/god

Periot/Periodt – ending a sentence with emphasis

Phubbing – ignoring someone by paying attention to your phone instead

Pick me girl – a girl who goes out of her way to impress boys by claiming/acting she’s not like other girls, seeks sympathy or attention

Preppy – usually an aesthetic that involves girly, bright colors and popular brands (think Pink Stanley Cup)

Ragequit – so angry at a game they immediately switch off

Rizz – an ability to charm effortlessly (having charisma)

Roasted – making fun of or insulting someone, usually in an insulting way

RN – Right now

Salty – being bitter, someone who is upset, mad or agitated

Savage – another way of saying cool, but clearly cooler

Sic – something that’s cool

Sigma – someone who’s independent, self-reliant, stands out from the crowd in their own way (as supposed to the Alpha male)

Shook – to be shaken up by something

Simp – a guy being too attentive or submissive to a girl

Skibidi – nonsense word, often paired with Skibidi Toilet, Skibidi Ohio (originated from a popular YouTube video, though the terminology has evolved; could mean anything from cool to bad to an acknowledgement, or just to annoy you on repeat)

Slay – when someone has done something particularly well

Smacks – something is good

Snatched – looking fabulous or fashionable (similar to on fleek)

Squad – close group of friends

Swole – someone who is physically fit, muscular or works out

Sup – short for What’s Up

Sus – someone who is shady or suspicious, not to be trusted

Talking smack – belittling someone

Tea – gossip or hot story, also sipping tea (to gossip)

TBF – to be fair

TBH – to be honest

Thirsty – someone who is eager or desperate for approval/attention (usually romantic)

Throw shade – give someone a dirty look or talk poorly about someone, also ‘shading’

Tight – when two people are in a close relationship

Tool – a person who is stupid, obnoxious or an ass

Touching Grass – usually an insult to someone who never goes outside

W – Win (when someone has done something good/achieved well)

Woke – someone who is up with the latest news and social issues

YAAS/Yaaasss/Yeet – an empathic Yes

Yeet – can also mean to throw something with excessive force

YOLO – you only live once

9 or CD9 – a parent is watching/listening

We hope you’ve found this guide to tween terminology helpful. Got any others you can think of? Drop them in the comments below, and we’ll get them added!

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Online health resources for your tweens

The post Tween Terminology: A-Z Glossary For Tween Parents in 2026 appeared first on Tween Parent | Family Lifestyle Blog.

Entering middle school can be a big adjustment for kids, and while the school will help prepare them a little, there are more things you can do at home to help them succeed.

Did you know that research has shown that in the tween years that a lot of children lose interest in school? There are a few reasons for this.

• Many of their interests change. They may care more about their friends and the social aspect of school rather than grades and classes.
• Their bodies are changing. They are at the age where their bodies are going through changes, and they are developing.  
• Middle school can be more demanding. When kids enter middle school, there are more demands that need to be met. That may mean more schoolwork or homework, more classes they will have to take, more sports activities, and others.

As parents, we may not be able to control everything that happens, but we can help prepare them for what is about to come and the beset way to handle those changes. These are a few of the things that you can do when it comes to preparing your tween for middle school.

Talk About Changes That May Be Coming

One of the first things you should do after they finish elementary school is to talk with them about middle school and some of the changes that are going to happen. There are two huge changes that will most likely be happening and those are 1) going to a new school and 2) having to adjust to all of the new classmates they may meet and mingle with.

There may be other changes they are worried about or that you haven’t thought about. Sit down and talk with them to see what they may be worried about or what they are curious about. Flat out asking them may be one of the best ways to get a feel for what they are thinking about when it comes to transitioning.

As they talk, be sure to let them know that even though this may be a scary time with a lot of adjustments, there will be lots of fun and excitement that come along with the change.

Start Establishing a Routine for the Upcoming Year

With middle school comes more responsibilities and many changes. Just like their younger school years, having a routine can really help your tween through the middle school years. Some parents like to start routines during the summer months or a month or so before the new school year starts. This can ensure that your child is eased into the new changes and not just thrown into them.

While you help your tween establish a new routine, it is also a good time to help them learn more about being organization and of course, time management.

In the middle school years, they will be juggling classes and different assignments from each of those classes. They will also be switching classes between bells and having to be on time for their next class. Teaching them some organizational skills will help them keep everything together so they can find it when they need it. Time management skills will help them be on time to their classes.

Another good routine to start is to get your child to pack their bookbag or lunch bag the night before. They can also lay out their clothes the night before so they can get up, eat breakfast, and get ready. All of these will help make the school morning run smoother.

Attend Orientation or Schedule a Tour of the School

Most schools offer orientation days where kids and parents can meet their teachers and get to know the layout of the school a little more and where their classes will be. If your school doesn’t do an orientation, you can always call the school to see if they will give you and your new middle schooler a look around.

Attending the orientation, or a tour of the school, can help them see what their new environment is going to be like. They won’t come in on the first day and wonder where they are going, where the restrooms are, or where their lockers and classrooms will be. Instead, your tween will be a little more prepared and know exactly where their classes are going to be.

Get All the Supplies They Need for the Year

Oh, the joys of back-to-school shopping! As parents, we may not have fun shopping for new clothes and school supplies for the new school year, but your tween may enjoy it.

Shopping for new school supplies and clothes may also excite them for the upcoming year and take their mind off the stress and fears of the transitions.

In addition to your typical folders, notebooks, and pencils, let your child pick out different accessories for their lockers. Their lockers will store everything they need during the school year, so making it their own can be helpful. They’ll feel joy and comfort when opening their lockers and seeing some of their favorite things.

Tip: get them familiar with combination locks. Locks are not something they may have had to worry about in elementary school, but in middle school, they will typically need a combination lock for their lockers. Have them practice locking and unlocking the combination lock beforehand so that they know the process and can get it down.

Encourage Your Tween to Be Social

Middle school is when kids start to be more social. The social aspect of middle school can be one of the most challenging parts of the entire process.

It’s the time when they can join social groups, get involved in extracurricular activities, and make new friends. Encourage them to be social and to take part in these activities. Encourage them to be friendly with everyone and not to treat anyone any differently.

What You Can Do as a Parent

While your tween figures out their new routines and starts their middle school journey, there are a few things you can do as a parent to ensure they are on track.

1. Stay on top of their academics and make sure they are doing their schoolwork so they don’t get behind.
2. Stay positive and upbeat about the upcoming changes. This will help your tween be more excited too.
3. Check in with them periodically to see how they are doing and if they are facing any trouble that you can help with.
4. Talk with their teachers to be sure they are doing well.
5. Encourage and reward responsible behavior.
6. Be there for your tween when they need advice or want to talk about how they are feeling or things that may be happening.

The transition from elementary school to middle school can be hard for kids. Getting them prepared and helping them navigate that change can help them succeed and do well during that transition.

More Parenting Reads And Ideas For Your New Middle Schooler

If your tween is just about to finish elementary school, here are some fun and endearing gift ideas for an elementary school graduate.

Have your girl looking her best, beautiful elementary school graduation dresses

For farewell speeches and graduate gift cards, some inspiring elementary school graduate quote ideas

Shop early for your Middle School supplies, and don’t forget a cool backpack that can fit all their books and tech needs.

The post Preparing Your Tween For Middle School – Positive Steps To Take Now appeared first on Tween Parent | Family Lifestyle Blog.

Tween is short for “Tweenager” – a made-up word really for that “in-between” stage from early childhood to hitting puberty and becoming a teenager. The moniker “tween” is believed to date back to the 1980s.

There is no strict definition of age, but generally, it’s accepted to mean kids that fall in the 9 to 12-year-old age group (though there are plenty of definitions that describe it as 10 to 14 years of age, others say it starts as young as eight).

Whilst the teenage years are most commonly associated with growth spurts, mood swings, attitude changes, and of course puberty, tweens have their fair share of physical and more importantly emotional development needs that need to be met too.

Pre-teens, pre-adolescents, call them as you will; some kids will glide slowly and gracefully through this childhood phase with few changes in their demeanor, while others will confront the tween years front on and with full abandon.

Tween Developments and Changes

It can certainly catch us parents off guard when habits and moods in our little child suddenly start to change. Some of the changes that may occur during early adolescence include:

Mentally – During the tween years, our children’s brains are going through a period of fairly rapid growth and development. Far more capable than their younger peers in reasoning, problem-solving, and anticipating consequences, but often still in a self-centered way.

Socially – Where parents/caregivers and siblings are very much the center of their world in the early years up to about 7 or 8 years old, tweens will start to gravitate more towards their peers. The need to ‘fit in’ will become far more prevalent and friendship dynamics can change.

Physically – Toward the later part of the tween years, don’t be surprised by sudden growth spurts, endless eating, increased sleep, weight gain, and changes in physical appearance. Not to mention hair growing in funny places, growing genitals, and the onset of menstruation in girls.

Independence – Once they would immediately turn to a parent or adult for help, there is a far greater desire to ‘work it out’ for themselves, even embarrassment if you try to interject – or stand close to them in public.

Responsibility – Along with this independence is the granting of responsibility; perhaps to look out for their siblings for short periods, to run an errand for you, or to clean their own room. It will vary vastly by the child, but most will have the CAPABILITY, if not the desire, to be seen as responsible.

Top Tips For Parenting Tweens

Whilst most of us probably read endless books and articles on the early childhood years, once our kids are happily off to elementary school, we tend to put down the parenting manuals and rely much more on our parenting intuition.

It’s fair to say you may require a small (or big!) change in your approach or parenting style once you hit the tweenage years. There’s a delicate balancing act between keeping your kids close whilst giving them the independence and responsibility they need to prepare them for adolescence thoroughly.

Here are just a few pointers for parenting tweens to consider:

• Pushing the boundaries – Be ready to set limits and stick with them, but include your tween in the reasoning process, or it will just feel like rules for rule’s sake. Explain why a certain rule needs to be implemented and let them contribute to where a boundary should be set.

• A united front – This is also the age where children realize that they can quite consciously pick one parent over the other to raise their issues or get things their way. Whether parents are living together or not, it helps to decide important matters together.

• Pick your battles – Oh, how many times have you heard this? Just when you thought it was over letting your toddler wear his Batman costume for three days straight, you need to take the same approach with your tween too. Set the rules firmly and fairly, but decide which ones matter when they’re broken.

• Perplexing personalities – Budding football star one day, fashionista the next. They are truly working out their place in the world, and what was ‘cool’ one day will make them a laughing stock the next. Be prepared for these rapid changes in interests, be supportive, and go with the flow.

• Give them room to expand new hobbies- Be it sports or a new computer game they want to try – but connect with them about it too. Offer to come and watch their games, ask how they felt they played that day, or what did they enjoy today about that online game (I have a far more intimate knowledge of Minecaft than one ever would have thought necessary for a grown adult that’s never played the game!)

• Don’t dish out on their modern role models – Sure, we’ve got no idea who that YouTube star is or can’t stand that song they keep on playing, but it’s THEIR interests forming part of their personality. Be involved, question, guide on what’s appropriate, but don’t pay out or be overly judgmental when it isn’t needed.

• Affection deflection – Cuddles and kisses may not come so quickly and easily once they hit the tween years. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you just the same or get some pure joy still out of those deep warm mama hugs; it just means there’s a time and a place for it.

• Personal space – On the same lines, there will be an increased need for their own time and space and some privacy. Make sure family timetables aren’t so packed they don’t get any of that ‘me time’ they might crave, and they have somewhere at home to call their own.

• Increased workload – Expectations don’t just change at home when it comes to chores and pulling their weight, but at school, too; subjects become more challenging, and homework expectations change. This can add to their overall mental load, and they may need help organizing competing demands from home, school, and friends.

• Be puberty prepared – Although we may think of puberty being a teen parent issue, tween girls especially can hit puberty early. Don’t assume they will learn everything they need to from school, or heaven forbid TikTok; guide them to accurate and reliable resources if they are too embarrassed to ask their questions directly (We have a good guide to online parental and tween health resources here).

• Role model good behavior – Basically, practice what you preach; if it’s healthy to get exercise and fresh air every day and not be stuck on a screen, all of you should do it! And life doesn’t have to always be serious, show them you can still muck around and goof off in fun and respectable ways – growing up doesn’t need to be boring!

Whilst the tween years may not seem like the most stressful compared to all the other ages and stages a child goes through, they’re certainly the most formative of their childhood. It’s where personalities develop, where habits become set, and views on the world around them are formed.

It can be a roller coaster but a fun and amazing one if you’re prepared to jump aboard and enjoy all those ups and downs!

More Tween Parenting Reads

If you’re entering the murky water of tween parenting and seeking out a little more guidance, you’ve come to the right place. Up next, you may want to jump into one of our most-read tween parenting blog topics, including:

How to deal with your tween’s excess phone usage – rules for your whole family to live by
Has your young lady’s mood and demeanor changed? How to cope if you think your tween girl is now the mean girl
Let’s face it; a time will come when you need to start having some awkward conversations with your son – here’s how we’d tackle those touchy subjects.
Is your daughter reaching puberty early? Here’s how to discuss first bras and prepare her for menstruation
Why it’s important to also talk to our sons about girls’ periods
Positive ways to discipline tweens without the domestic battlelines being drawn

So Tell Me More About Tween Parent

In our little corner here of the internet, tweenparent.com hopes to arm parents with the confidence they need to get them through the tween years. From helpful resources to gift shopping guides, a little spot on the internet dedicated to the pre-teen years and preparing you for the teen years ahead.

Pleased to have you on board!

If you’d like to see our latest tween parent guides as they’re published just pop your email at the bottom of this page.

The post What is a “Tween”? Tween Meaning Explained appeared first on Tween Parent | Family Lifestyle Blog.

For tweens just getting started with journaling, putting a pen and a blank piece of paper in front of them can be overwhelming. Your mind goes blank, and you can’t think of anything to write.

That’s where journal prompts for beginners can come in handy. Journal prompts for beginners are simple questions or sentences that they can think about and then put their thoughts into words.

They take out that pressure of figuring out what to write and give them a direction to follow so that they can write more and get started a little easier. It can also be a great way for your tween to foster that love of writing and build their writing and grammar skills.

Beautiful Journals For Tweens – Our Top 3 Picks for 2024

Find it on Amazon

Find it on Amazon

Find it on Amazon

Benefits of Journaling

There are several different benefits of getting your tween to start journaling. The benefits of journaling range from academic learning to mental well-being. Here are a few ways tweens can benefit from writing in a journal and using journal prompts.

• Journaling can be relaxing. Tweens are going through a lot during their school years, and journaling can take their mind off things and let them relax a little bit.

• It provides a positive outlet for tweens to express themselves.

• Journaling is a starting point for writing and can foster a love for writing and storytelling.

• Grammar is a big part of writing, and when your tweens write in their journal, they can improve their grammar skills and learn new words (without the pressure of being graded and making a mistake!).

• With their writing, your tween can get creative and tell a story.

Tween Journal Prompts for Beginners

1. What is your favorite song, and why do you like it? Why is it so special to you?

2. Tell me about your best friend and what you like about him or her.

3. If you had to create a new sandwich for the family to eat, how would you make it? What would you put on the sandwich? Do you think your family will like it?

4. What is something that you would like to learn to do?

5. If you could travel back in time, what year would you go to and why?

6. If you could travel to the future, what year would you visit? What do you think you will see?

7. Do you have a favorite place to go when you want to be alone? If so, tell me about it.

8. What is the nicest thing that you have ever done for someone?

9. Would you rather be a mouse or a bear? Why?

10. If you were to write a movie, what would it be about? Who would you want to star in it?

11. Tell me about your favorite childhood memory.

12. Name one thing that calms you down when you get mad. Share an example of when you were angry and used it to help calm you down.

13. Which subject in school is the easiest? Which do you find the most difficult?

14. Have you ever received advice from an adult? What was it? Did you take their advice and if so, how did it help?

15. If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go? What kind of things would you do while you were there?

16. What is your favorite day of the week? Why is it your favorite?

17. What is your favorite holiday? What makes that holiday so special for you?

18. If there was one thing you could change about school, what would it be?

19. List three things that you like about yourself.

20. If you had the chance to meet someone famous, who would you want to meet and why?

21. Tell me about a time when you were sad.

22. Have you ever had a bully? If so, what would you say to your bully if you could?

23. Who is someone that you admire? What do you admire about him or her?

24. If you could change your name to anything, what would it be and why?

25. What is the worst thing you have experienced at school?

26. If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on?

27. What do you think being a teenager will be like?

28. Imagine if the world was run by robots. What do you think it would be like? Do you think it would be fun?

29. What do you think your dog, cat, or pet would say to you if they could talk?

30. If you could have a superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?

For tweens who are just getting started with journaling, these journal prompts for beginners are a great way to get them started. With the journal prompts, tweens can read the prompts, think about their answers, and write about them in more detail and creatively.

The most important part of getting started with journalling is creating the mental space to allow the ideas to flow. With hectic schedules and reliance on devices, try and help your tween with the right tools she needs and the perfect setting without other interruptions to be alone with her thoughts.

The post 30 Inspiring Journal Prompts For Beginners appeared first on Tween Parent | Family Lifestyle Blog.

You may even remember when you found out the Christmas truth. But when you become parents, something happens. You become in charge of the magic. You become responsible for making memories and keeping the festivities alive. And that is a new sort of magic.

But just like it happened for you as a child, there will come a time when you need to tell your kids about Santa. Curiosity can start to creep in from as young as 9. However, it might be between 9 and 12 when your child asks questions.  

School might be the first place they hear something different from what they have understood of Christmas for the past few years. It may come from social media or watching things on YouTube. The truth is hard, especially if they have been second-guessing it for a while.

So, if you think you are at the stage with your little ones and the time has come to approach the topic, I wanted to share some of the sensitive ways to approach the subject and suggest a few lines that will help you cover what is needed. There will be lots of emotion, I am sure, and not just from your little ones. However, this isn’t the end of the spirit of Christmas, but more a new chapter on what Christmas can be.  

When are the kids ready?  

You may dread the time when you need to think about telling kids about Santa. I don’t blame you! I think most of us will remember the moment we found out and how sad it can be. But when are the kids ready to know?

Talking about Santa can be purely led by what your child has started to ask or signs they may be showing they are skeptical. It could be that they have shown curiosity from as young as eight years old but might not have asked questions. However, if you get to the stage where there haven’t been any questions, and your child is in middle school, you may want to make the decision to talk to them. After all, their peers may already know, which can avoid embarrassment.

You will know in your heart when your child is ready. It can depend on their line of questioning and how much skepticism they will show.  

Sensitive ways to approach the topic 

If the question of whether Santa is real has become a big topic of conversation in your home, then you may want to decide on how best to discuss it with your child. Telling kids about Santa is always going to be difficult, even if they have been extremely skeptical. Many kids still hold on to that glimmer of faith. So, I wanted to share a few sensitive approaches you could take regarding this topic.  

Find a calm place to talk  

One of the first things to consider is taking them to a calm and quiet place so you both can talk properly. The last thing you want or need is a distraction. You also will want to ensure that you are away from any younger siblings who may not be ready to hear about Santa.

It is also a good idea to avoid public places as you may find that there is some emotion to be dealing with. The quiet and calm space will encourage an open conversation.  

Be led by their questioning 

There will never be the perfect moment to discuss the question of whether Santa is real, but what you can do is be led by your child and their questions.   

Be honest 

It is important to be as honest as you can be. The last thing you want to be doing is answering with another myth or make-believe. This can make your child skeptical of things you might tell them in the future. If they are asking or showing signs of skepticism, it is time to be honest about it.  

Talk about your own experiences  

A great way to show empathy is to discuss your own experience. Perhaps share with your child how you found out about Santa. You can discuss how you felt and the experience you had, which will help to validate their own thoughts and feelings.  

Explain the magic of Christmas  

Explaining what the magic of Christmas is all about can help your child to look at the festive season with a different approach. Sure they will still get gifts, but Christmas is so much more than that.  

Ask them for help 

If they have younger siblings, you could ask them for help. Asking them to help be part of the magic and making it special for their younger siblings will give them a sense of purpose and responsibility.  

Some of the things you could say 

If you are unsure of what to say to your child when talking about Santa, here are a couple of suggestions: 

• Explain that Santa is a symbol. He is a symbol of someone who lived a very long time ago, St Nicholas, who gave money to people who needed it.  

• Play the Santa Game. You can allow your child to continue believing in Santa, write letters and visit him.  

• Explain that everyone has different beliefs about what Santa represents, so it is important to be respectful of that.  

• Santa has always been seen as a reminder that we need to be kind and loving to the people who are important to us. This goes for people who know us but also people we don’t who may have less than us. He was a symbol created to remind us we need to think of others at Christmastime.  

Dealing with their emotions  

There will be emotion and possibly grief from your child when they find out about Santa. Telling kids about Santa is not necessarily going to be an easy thing for you to do. Make sure you give them time and space to absorb and reflect.

Respect their boundaries and also allow them to be sad and express their emotions. If younger siblings are involved, encourage your older child to be part of the magic you once created for them. They can start to see how amazing it is to be on that “other side” and help.  

You may also get a little fallout in terms of the myth you have been discussing for years, which is understandable. But reiterate that it is more about the symbolism of Christmas and not that it is a lie.  

We hope these tips and suggestions help you prepare to tell kids about Santa.  

You may also want to pop over next and read more of our ideas for Christmas activities to keep tweens involved in the spirit of Christmas.

The post How To Tell Kids About Santa appeared first on Tween Parent | Family Lifestyle Blog.

You may find that some of the strategies that worked previously with your small children might not work when it comes to disciplining tweens. You’ve no doubt come here looking for some positive guidance on how to approach things now your child is maturing.

The behaviors that require attention and discipline are likely to have made a shift as well, as your tween starts to look at pushing boundaries and challenging things in their own lives.

Parenting adolescents is not easy, as we’re sure you’re quickly becoming aware. However, it doesn’t have to be difficult. After all, a few positive changes to how you react can help you and your tween to thrive. So here are some of the positive ways to discipline tweens.

Typical changes you’ll see in your tween

There will be some obvious and some minor changes to your tween’s behavior.

You might start to notice back-talk or a change of attitude. Perhaps they are challenging you in some way, such as with routine, boundaries you have set in place, or the things they can do.

Here we’ll point out some of the typical changes that you have started to notice with your tween.

Emotional and behavioral changes

It is obvious, as much as we might fight against it, that your child is going to change as they approach their adolescent years. Emotionally, you may find that they find it hard to control big feelings.

Perhaps getting angry over what seems to be small things such as a bad test grade, an argument with a friend, or even a small request like cleaning their bedroom may set them off. You might get yelling, sulking, shouting, and even slamming doors.

In other instances, you may start to notice attitude, such as reminding them to pick their laundry up off the floor and getting a response of “I know”. It is very common for tweens to be argumentative and challenge you like never before.

Behavior-wise, they may start to curse more, act older than they are, in a bid to fit in or to be part of the gang.

Pushing boundaries

They will also push boundaries emotionally and physically. For example, a curfew and turning up later, or not responding to messages or phone calls. This is all in a bid to see how far they can go.

They will also try and push you on punishment and defy you in any way that they can. This is why it is important to find positive techniques that help you to respond.

5 techniques to respond to tween behavior in a positive way

Knowing what to expect is one thing, but it is all about your key response. You will want to react to the tween behavior in a positive way. So here are some discipline strategies that you could try.

Take away privileges

One of the first things that you can do is to take away privileges if you disagree with the pre-teen behavior you have witnessed. When they misbehave take away something meaningful to them. Electronics they use, an outing with a friend, etc.

Taking something like that away shows consequence to actions, and that it is indeed a privilege to be allow them in the first place.

Have a behavior contract

A behavior contract is a great way to be on the same page as your tween. It outlines what behavior you expect from your child to keep certain privileges or be able to do specific things.

They need to show responsibility, listening techniques, and take care of themselves and their things such as tidying their bedroom.

Doing these things enables them to keep their electronics or have other privileges they may already take for granted.

Rewards

A positive way to reaffirm behavior is to reward it when something has happened in a positive way. If they have maintained a tidy room, reward them for that. If they have shown responsibility or have reacted to a situation calmly and positively, reward them for that.

The more reward they get, the more likely they will continue with good behavior.

Embrace problem-solving

Sometimes behavioral problems need to be looked at more closely. Often, it is an issue or stumbling block that is causing the attitude, back-talk, or anger. So spend time encouraging problem-solving. Enabling your tween to see what has gone wrong and where and how they can fix it. Be on hand to provide help if needed.

Let them learn their own lesson

Last of all, it is often a good idea to let them learn their own lesson. Within reason, of course.

If they can see the consequences firsthand of their actions then they are more likely to learn from it. We sometimes have to step back and let mistakes happen, no matter how hard that is.

Some Things for You, The Parent, to be Mindful of

While it is always good to be aware of some of the techniques that could help you to respond to your tween’s behavior in a positive way, you might also want to be mindful of a few things that you might do yourself.

Here are some of the things to look out for:

• Parent the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. If we are honest we all have an idea of what our children might turn out to be, but so often this isn’t the case. So let go of any preconceived ideas and focus on the here and now.
• Avoid labeling your child. It is easy to label a child naughty, or having an attitude problem, but even as a tween there could be legitimate reasons for this behavior. Try and look at the why rather than the what.

Ways to improve communication with your tween

Sometimes it isn’t just about the punishment, you might also want to look at ways to improve communication with your tween. After all, there may be an underlying issue at the heart of your tween behavior. Here are a couple of things that you might want to try.

Lead by example

It can sometimes be so easy to react when your tween is yelling at you or slamming doors, but reacting, in the same way, will not serve you well. Lead by example and continue to discuss the situation in a calm and positive way.

Listen

Sometimes the pre-teen behavior you are witnessing has stemmed from something else. Perhaps a citation they face at school or a friendship that has gone wrong. Always be on hand to listen, and avoid reacting in a demeaning way.

Resist the temptation of threats

Of course, there always needs to be some form of consequence to bad behavior but threats never end well, unless you intend to follow through with them. Your tween should be aware of what the consequences are as it helps everyone to be on the same page.

Hopefully, these tips and suggestions will help you to implement positive ways to discipline your tweens.

Pop over here if you’d like more articles and advice for parenting during the tween years

The post Positive Ways To Discipline Your Tweens appeared first on Tween Parent | Family Lifestyle Blog.

When they are babies they rely on you, show affection, and some may argue, are a little less independent than daughters. But as they grow up into the age of adolescence things do change. As they enter those tween years before they become a fully-fledged teenager, there will be changes in many different aspects of their lives.

So what can you expect from your pre-teen boys?

You will start to notice attitude changes, defiance, and independence; puberty in boys, charging hormones and emotions and their uncertainty in how to handle this, just to name a few. However, don’t worry!

While this is a big change in the dynamics of the relationship with your son, it will still be as loving and as strong, as it always has been.

Here we share with you some of the topics that may come up now and over the next few years to prepare you before those embarrassing mother and son conversation arrives. Additionally, we’ve included below some tips for keeping those communication channels open and honest with your tween son.

6 Embarrassing Conversations to Be Ready For With Tween Boys

#1 Their bodies starting to change

One of the most obvious changes is with their bodies. For a young boy, this might be daunting and overwhelming. The main changes a boy may start to notice from the age of 9 are their bodies developing muscles, their voices getting deeper, and growing facial and body hair.

All of these are completely normal tween development changes to be aware of, though some boys may start these physical changes much earlier than others.

It can be hard for your son to notice these changes within their peers and perhaps not experience them himself. Everyone develops at their own rate, and you may find that you are having conversations about these changes, and how to cope with them.

The best way to help your child through these conversations you might have is to not make a fuss about it. Reassurance that changes happen when they happen, and if they are a little concerned about some of the changes, listen and validate their feelings.

Don’t forget you can’t skimp on the facts for girls too. It’s important while discussing their bodily changes, that you touch on the changes girls are going through too. This includes explaining to boys how periods work and treating girls’ changes with respect.

#2 The Discussion on Body Odor and General Hygiene

One of the more embarrassing and sensitive conversations you may have with boys development will be based on general hygiene and body odor.

Once they get to a certain age they start to perspire – especially if they’re a sporty tween boy – and there is a need to change their routine to take care of themselves more so than normal.

It is down to you to discuss the use of deodorant and the importance of washing.

They may also start to notice a change in their skin as well, so discussing skincare might be on the agenda. Here are a few pointers to remember when it comes to hygiene and pre-teen boys:

• Introduce your son to antiperspirant or deodorant.
• Make sure that they take regular showers, paying extra attention to washing their underarms and their groin area.
• Ensure that your son changes their clothing, especially their underwear regularly.

Check out these tween-appropriate health resource websites that may help you and your son with open conversations on puberty and physically growing up

#3 Their Sexuality

Let’s face it, at this age there are going to be conversations about the opposite sex, or for some tween boys, confusion about how they feel if they don’t seem to fit the stereotype. The conversations may be a little more vivid and detailed than perhaps the previous pre-pubescent years “I have a girlfriend” comments when they were younger.

It is important for you to understand that this is a normal part of growing up, and if there is a little confusion as to how they feel, avoid judgment and just listen to what they have to say.

#4 Unwanted Erections

Another embarrassing conversation between a mom and son is the chat about erections. One of the more awkward parts of tween development, that’s for sure. Partly because as a mom, you don’t experience them. It’s the truth!

However, this can be a topic that is hugely embarrassing for your son, so if they do approach you with this dilemma it is important to not react and just listen to what they have to say. Explain to them that this is a normal part of growing up, and just shows that their body is working as it should be.

The hormonal change often means that they will have desires they won’t have had before, so the best thing to do is not show any disapproval. Instead, explain what the changes mean and educate your son.

This could be a great opportunity to teach them some independence in how to use the washing machine, too. At the very least, how to strip their own bed sheets should they feel the need, without an awkward conversation or discovery.

#5 How They Think and Their Views on Life

You may notice that their views and how they think change when reaching the age of adolescence. They will take opinions and information from everyone around them, including you as parents. Through the first eight or so years of their lives, your boys will have been self-absorbed. Only caring about their own feelings, which is completely normal.

However, as they develop this way of thinking changes, and they become aware of the thoughts and feelings of others. Which may start conversations about fitting in or being left out.

Your son may feel embarrassed to talk to you about these feelings, so be mindful that “give mommy a hug and tell me what’s wrong” may no longer be a fix-all solution.

#6 Social hierarchy and friends

Just as their thoughts and feelings change and they become aware of others, they also become conscious of social hierarchy and friends. As different groups of friends form they will need to try and figure out where they fit amongst it all.

This can be very evident in school, particularly as they move from primary or elementary school into middle school or secondary school. You may also find their relationship changing within the family too as once cooperative siblings vie for their position in the family.

Their can also be a lot of pressure on boys to not cry; crying is for babies, or for “girls” and they can feel embarrassed to show their emotions. Your boys will need coping mechanisms for different social situations they may find themselves in.

Top Tips to Keep Conversations Open with Your Tween Son

So how do you ensure you keep the conversations open between you and your tween boy?

Bearing in mind that some of these topics are not only hard for your son to discuss but also for you to listen and respond to. So here are a few tips to help you out:

Be approachable

One of the first things you must be as a parent is approachable. Often the changes your son will start to notice and experience will be overwhelming for them, and they may feel at some point that it isn’t normal. Of course, we know, that it is all a completely normal part of growing up.

So if you are approachable then they won’t be afraid to talk to you about these things. The truth is, no matter what it is, you will always want them to feel comfortable talking to you about anything that’s troubling them.

This may involve making opportunities in your week where you’re not overly distracted with work, household chores or dealing siblings. Is there a set time of week you can be alone together or where there will be a relaxed atmosphere?

Watch your reactions

I know it can be difficult when it comes to an instant reaction to something that you hear but try and stay in control as much as you can. Your child will pick up on your reaction, whether verbal or not, so be mindful about how you approach the conversation.

Be open-minded with this adolescent behavior, take a moment to breathe yourself, and even return to the conversation if you feel you need time to comprehend how you do react.

Body language and facial expressions are just as important

Your children will pick up on body language and facial expressions as well as anything you verbally say to them, so just as much as you are aware of your reaction, try and ensure that your body language and facial expressions don’t give the wrong impression.

We have all been there, and sometimes we can’t help but react, but if you do so, reassure your son that it comes from a place of love and concern for them.

Listen

The most important tool in your parenting toolbox, listening. It can also be one of the hardest things to do, granted. However, if you are having a conversation with your son about anything to do with adolescence for boys, yet alone some of the things we have mentioned, always listen to them. It helps them to feel valued.

Validate their feelings

While listening it is also a good idea to validate their feelings. Sure you may think it is an overreaction or they are being silly but to them, it really is a big deal. So validate how they feel and come from a place of understanding. They will thank you for it.

Trust

Finally, trust what they are saying and have trust and faith in them. If you give them a level of trust they give that back to you. Ensuring that you can then feel confident that they will come to you when they need you the most, no matter what they have to say or what embarrassing situation they have found themselves in.

We hope this helps you feel more comfortable when it comes to embarrassing conversations with your son. Let us know in the comments below if there are any other approaches that you use to make those awkward moments more manageable during those precious tween years.

Experiencing intolerable tween rebellion? You may also want to check out our positive discipline for tweens’ advice

The post 6 Embarrassing Conversations You’ll Need to Have With Your Tween Son appeared first on Tween Parent | Family Lifestyle Blog.